Allow Me to Introduce Myself

It has come to my attention that not everyone who reads my blog knows who I am and what I’m all about, so if you’re interested:

I’m just Mandi, not Amanda. It’s spelled with an “i” because my mom doesn’t like to write the letter “y” – and no, I’m not kidding. I grew up in a funeral home. Like, we lived there. All the time. No, I wasn’t scared of dead people (as my dad says, “it’s the live ones that will get ya”) and yes, it was exactly like that girl on My Girl (sans an adorable Macaulay Culkin best friend and weird hypochondriac behavior). I lead a sugar free life, because sugar makes my thighs the size of Hulk Hogan’s. I talk on my cell phone a lot. I talk a lot in general. I like to be tan, dye my hair darker than it naturally is, and wear a lot of eyeliner. (Holy moly, it just occurred to me after typing that sentence that maybe I tan so I don’t look Gothic.) I love every kind of animal. I have a dog named William Wallace and a rabbit named Norma Jeane. Evidently, I like double-naming my pets. I have one husband and one brother, three sisters-in-law, three parents-in-law and three parents (one of those parents is a “step” one, but I don’t really like that word because it implies that he is a step below, and he is not). As I’ve stated before, I’m from a small town, and when I say small, I mean it – unlike my other friends who call their town “small” and it has a Walmart in it (I’m talking to you, Manning crew. Your town is medium, ok?). I love Diet Coke and peanut butter. I’m also quite fond of cheese. I do not eat anything with an orange flavor or raw mushrooms. I don’t like getting my hair cut, and I attribute this to my mom cutting it all off when I was four. (I looked like a boy.) I drive fast, usually because I’m late to everything. Charleston is my favorite city on Earth, but New York comes in second. If I met Vince Vaughn, I’d file for divorce (sorry, but I would). My favorite cocktail these days is sugar free Red Bull with blueberry vodka. I like politics and writing and fashion and reality television (I think this makes me well-rounded, thankyouverymuch). I listen to most any kind of music, but country seems to be what I purchase the most of. I started my first blog back when I was planning a wedding, and after that was over, I missed writing, hence “The Tightrope.” I’m a pretty friendly gal, and I’ve been told that I start a lot of sentences with “I feel like…” For example, “I feel like that girl’s shirt is really yellow.” I don’t mean to do this, so I’m sorry if it annoys you. I never take myself too seriously and I try to be a good friend.

Yep, that’s about it. Nice to meet ya.