Shut the Hell Up, Please

19 Jun

My apologies for the rude title (which was worse than that, but changed at the request of my mother), but I had to get your attention. Because this is important. And, I’m about to tick a lot of people off, but it needs to be said. People have gotten out. of. hand.

A while back, I did a post about Facebook and status updates. This was before Twitter was all the rage (Twitter makes me want to punch someone in the face), and before Facebook became the Myrtle Beach of the internet. (No offense to MB, but come on, you know you’re tacky.) So, it’s time for me to revisit this subject and make enemies faster than a speeding bullet.

  • I don’t care which Golden Girl you are, how well you know Jane Doe, how Georgia you are, or what sexual position you are.
  • I don’t want to Facebook chat with you, I don’t want to be in your top girls, and I don’t want to be a fan of Breyers ice cream. (I mean, I am a fan, but I’m making a point here.)
  • I don’t care for you to tell me every detail of your life. I call these “stupdates.” (translation: stupid updates) “Michael is driving. Michael is stopping at a rest area. Michael is almost home!” Michael needs to pay attention to the road, ok? I don’t care if you’re working hard (I’m pretty sure hard work doesn’t involve Facebook, but I’ll ask a coal miner or a construction worker the next time I see one), or who you are going to spend the weekend with, or how long it’s been since you’ve seen your hubby.

I want to get on Facebook and look at your pictures. Perhaps read a few of your wall posts. Maybe even see an acceptable (see “legitimate reasons for updating your status” in the old post) status update every now and again. I don’t want or need to see all that other stuff. Why? Because it’s annoying, that’s why. And it gets in my way of just being nosey/stalker-like. Which is the real reason any of us are on Facebook, anyway.

You can call me a hater, you can say you love reading peoples’ stupdates and tweets. But, I, for one, am sick of them. Holla if you hear me.

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7 Responses to “Shut the Hell Up, Please”

  1. Ben June 19, 2009 at 7:41 pm #

    I agree completely. This should be a public service announcement.

  2. Anonymous June 19, 2009 at 7:41 pm #

    Holla! I hear you!"Corrie couldn't agree more":)

  3. Erica June 19, 2009 at 10:02 pm #

    I couldn't agree more!!! I wonder if some people just stay on facebook all day long… do they have a real life?

  4. Annette June 19, 2009 at 10:10 pm #

    Annette's ready for the weekend

  5. Mandi June 22, 2009 at 2:59 pm #

    "Mandi is so happy she isn't the only one who feels this way."Carissa, that article made me laugh out loud several times!

  6. Bess June 25, 2009 at 6:08 pm #

    "Facebook [has become] the Myrtle Beach of the internet…"Hasn't it, though?! Holla!

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