Friend: hey, did i tell you that [Blank] got hit by a car friday night?
me: WHAT?? What do you mean he got HIT BY A CAR?
Friend: he walked out of [Blank] friday night and got hit by a car. he was taken to the hospital by ambulance. he also got a jaywalking ticket.
me: Are you for real? Is he ok??
Friend: i swear.
me: What did they do with his ticket, hand it to the EMTs?
Friend: he’s okay, the ticket is the funny part. he has his leg in an air splint.
me: Good Lord. That’s awful.
Friend: i know. he didn’t make it to the game on saturday.
me: Well I guess not, hon.
*Name and place have been omitted. The poor guy suffered enough.*
He also gets the joy of a $262.50 ticket.