A Letter

3 Nov

Dear Kate Gosselin,
You, my friend, have forced me to write this letter. I didn’t want it to come to this, but your constant crying and whining all over my television screen has left me no choice.

I don’t know any other way to say this other than to say it, so here goes: I. Don’t. Buy. It. You want us to see this “new” Kate and think that you’ve changed. That the screaming, degrading and demanding days are over. Sorry, Katie, no can do. This new Kate is nothing but an act. A ploy to get America to take your side. Newsflash: As much as we dislike you, we dislike Jon even more. Nothing annoys us more than a walking mid-midlife crisis, complete with Ed Hardy t-shirts, bad hair plugs and earrings. Not even you, Kate.

So, do us all a favor and drop the act. We miss the old Kate. The one we couldn’t stop watching and judging. And, for the love of God, stop telling us you’re broke and that you hate the paparazzi. We’re too smart for your reverse psychology, ’round here. You’re broke = you asking people to buy your books/watch your show. You hate the paparazzi = you fueling the paparazzi so they’ll take more photos of you/make you more famous so that you’ll sell more books and gain more viewers.

One last thing, and really, it’s a simple (but forceful) request. Get yourself a different hairstyle. It’s beginning to catch on, and I’m frightened.

2 Responses to “A Letter”

  1. Anonymous November 4, 2009 at 9:35 pm #

    I hate her. Her children will grow up to be psychos.

  2. Jessicabunn November 5, 2009 at 4:01 pm #

    You have just said everything in the world I wanted to say, but I don't have a blog.

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