Real vs. Fake

30 Nov

(Trees, y’all. Real vs. Fake Christmas trees.)

It’s that time of year when everyone is putting up their Christmas decorations and talking about how long it takes, how much trouble it is, when is too early to put them up, when is too late to take them down, etc. And, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed this (you will from here on out), but people generally fall into two categories: real tree people and fake tree people.

After years of thinking this to myself and holding it in, I’ve decided to just come out with it. “Real tree people” are snobs. Yes, snobs. They turn their noses up at our fake (pre-lit, low maintenance, sturdy, always the right size for your space) Christmas trees. And I, for one, am tired of it. Fine, you have a real tree. It smells delightful, it wouldn’t be Christmas without one, you can’t wait to go pick it out, etc. Great. Enjoy it. But, don’t you turn your nose up at me because I don’t enjoy getting sap all over me while stringing lights and hanging ornaments, or vacuuming the floor every day when it sheds.

I like my tree, you like your tree. The End. There’s no need for you to tell me how much better your Christmas tree is, especially because of the smell. One word: candles.

10 Responses to “Real vs. Fake”

  1. Anonymous November 30, 2009 at 5:28 pm #


  2. Daniel November 30, 2009 at 7:12 pm #

    I love you so much it hurts sometimes.

  3. Ashlyn November 30, 2009 at 11:24 pm #

    For some reason we got a real tree this year. It blows.

  4. Troy December 1, 2009 at 1:03 pm #

    Well Mandi you should have come by on Sunday and smelled our fresh frazier fur. Smells mo betta than your plastic tree! It's not about it being easy to put up, being pre-lit or looking perfect, it's all about what i refer to as the "Griswold" experience!

  5. Meigs December 1, 2009 at 1:58 pm #

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. Mandi December 1, 2009 at 2:17 pm #

    Tisk, tisk, Mag. Cite your source! Your English teacher mama taught you better than that.Also, please see the last paragraph of the post. Love you, mean it.

  7. Jan December 2, 2009 at 12:59 am #

    I appreciate your comment concerning citation of sources! BTW, we have two fake trees now. Time and energy says it all. Now, about my lack of invite to a certain par-tay. I will be there either as an invited guest or I will crash it. Quote, unquote!!Love you all the time, my dark headed daughter!! JANE

  8. AB December 2, 2009 at 12:26 pm #

    Amen, sister! I have sworn off of real trees ever since the early 90's when I spent hours putting the lights and ornaments on K-ma's just to have it fall over 10 minutes after finishing…I'm still bitter about that…

  9. Troy December 2, 2009 at 4:37 pm #

    Reason #237 to have a real tree: They make for a great fire starter for a New Years Eve party! Those plastic ones just make a gooey mess when you throw them in.

  10. Mandi December 2, 2009 at 10:03 pm #

    Troy – in regards to your last comment…Reason #999 that real tree people are snobs.

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