Engagements and Insults

Sit back and let me tell you a little story.

A few years back, I had a Maid of Honor named Lauren who was seated at the “head table” of my rehearsal dinner with a Groomsman named Chad. It was love at first meal for Chad, but it took a little persuading for Lauren. She eventually caved to his charm, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Last Friday night, Chad proposed to Lauren at the place where their relationship began. (Insert “awe’s” here.)

This worked out well for me, because the place just happens to be in the city in which I reside. So, on my way home from a Christmas party late Friday night, I stopped in to see the newly engaged couple to have a toast to their engagement. Whilst there, a member of the band that was playing stopped at the table and told them congratulations. He looked at me with a puzzled expression, so I boasted, “I’m the reason that they met!” He said, “Oh, you are the girl’s wedding they met at two years ago.” My response (which was really funny when I delivered it, but doesn’t sound like it when you read it) was “Yeah, well, I’m not married any more.”

I should have kept my mouth shut.

Band Guy proceeded to give Lauren and Chad marital advice, and to be honest, it all made perfect sense. Put God first, each other second, children third. He even told them where to find that in the bible. Corinthians, he said. After about 15 minutes of him repeating the same thing over and over, all three of us were ready for him to depart. I think he could sense this, so he closed by saying, “Remember what I told you. If not, you’ll end up alone like her.”

No. He. Didn’t.

Yes, y’all. He really did.

Both Lauren and Chad immediately started defending me, which was helpful because I couldn’t speak. I don’t remember what all was said, exactly, but I do know that Chad told Band Guy that what I had been through in my marriage was not in Corinthians.

True.

A huge congratulations to you both, L&C. I’m so glad my seating chart worked out for you! Return the favor, why don’t ya?