Can I Get An "Amen" From The Ladies?

I met my friend Kristin for coffee today, and the thing our conversation turned to warranted a Sunday post. She told me a story about a friend of hers (let’s call her Amy, shall we?), who went to lunch with this guy who was in his mid-thirties. Amy, who is 26, told Kristin that during the lunch, the guy told her that he had just started dating someone. When Amy inquired about the new woman in his life, he told her that his new girlfriend was 23. Then he casually added, “No offense, but I really don’t date anyone your age because they are like a ticking time bomb. All they want to do is get married and have kids.”

This was very similar to something my ex said to me a few months ago, when he had recently gone out on a date with someone who was 23. He said, “I know that sounds young, but I am not looking for a commitment (um, obviously) and 23 year-olds are not thinking about marriage.”

Holy generalizations.

Kristin and I disagree with these two men (to put it mildly). We say that women are commitment bound not based on age, but based on personality. For men to assume that someone who is 23 isn’t looking to get married and someone who is 28 is, is not only insulting, but inaccurate. Just turn on The Bachelor, for goodness sakes. There are plenty of 23 year-olds who talk incessantly about getting married and popping out kid after kid. And, I have a good number of friends who are still commitment phobic at 28 and 29. Why? Not because of a bad relationship, not because they have issues…but because they haven’t met the right person, or they are still accomplishing and achieving what they want in life before they settle down.

News flash, men – it’s not about how old we are because we are not all alike. Believe it or not, we all march to the beat of our own drum and one size does not fit all. What is good for certain women at 23 is also good for other women at 28, or 33. And vice versa.

I would also like to take this opportunity to point out that if you’re a man in your 30’s and you are going out with a woman who is in her early 20’s, I can assure you that she’s not thinking about “just having some fun” with you. She can do that with someone her own age, and who still has all his hair.