Inappropriate Status Update Gems

16 Jul

About children:

  • Blank is ready for ____’s umbilical cord stump to fall off so she can have a real bath!!!
  • Blank was bathing ____ and she pooped in the tub…and then threw a piece out on the floor…super GROSS!!!!
  • Blank thinks there is nothing like being woken up by the sound of ____ blowing out a stinky. She makes stink then gets fussy at me because I woke her up changing her. Lol.
  • Blank can’t believe her youngest put a booger on his bible school teacher today!
  • Blank man I’m sure gonna hate to change ____’s diaper, she’s eaten a ton of kielbasa sausage.

On sporting events:

  • Blank When I was born, I felt special. When I graduated, I felt blessed. When I lost my virginity I felt lucky. When the Gamecocks won the CWS I saw that bird do a backflip in my dreams…Go Gamecocks!
  • Blank just like a wet dream I never want the World Cup to be over.
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One Response to “Inappropriate Status Update Gems”

  1. Anonymous July 21, 2010 at 8:48 pm #

    GROSS.

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