Tuesday’s Post Is Full Of…Honesty

25 Oct

If you are lucky enough to not know someone who is (or has been) in an unhappy relationship, I need to come live on the planet you’re on. Maybe it’s because I’m a known relationship failure (that sounded a lot more harsh than I meant for it to), but people talk to me all the time about their relationship woes. And, while no relationship between two people will ever be perfect, sometimes we all need to stop talking about why we’re unhappy and start doing something about it.

A few years ago, it took me a long time to come to that simple realization. To stop talking, thinking, wishing, hoping…and to start doing something about my unhappiness. (And about our unhappiness as a couple.) For me, working with a therapist helped. (Hey, this post is full of honesty, remember?) Having someone other than the well-meaning and supportive, but totally biased people in my life to talk to was key. I worked through the sadness, the guilt, the disappointment – and moved in the direction that was right for me. A direction that was right for both of us.

If you can relate to this post at all (I’m hoping that most of you can’t), your direction may be different than the one I chose. What’s important is that you’re honest with yourself, and that you have a direction towards happiness.

“Why does anyone stay in an unhappy relationship? Because people do. They do it all the time. And the truth is, when you’re in it, when you’re up to your neck in the everyday part of life with another human being, sometimes you don’t exactly notice how bad things really are. It’s not always as apparent as it would seem. Unhappiness, when it involves another person, can be like that line from The Sun Also Rises about going bankrupt, how it happens two ways: gradually, and then suddenly.”

— Sarah Dunn (The Big Love)

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