On The Oscars

I love awards shows.  Always have, always will.  I love the hype, I love the fashion, I love the speeches.  I love the pomp and circumstance, and I love the tradition of it all.

My dear, sweet husband let out a fake “yay” when I excitedly announced yesterday morning that the Oscars would be on later.  He’s the exact opposite of me when it comes to awards shows.  I giddily perch on the couch for the Golden Globes and Grammy’s and every few minutes give my fashion and speech writer two cents.  He trolls his computer and occasionally looks up when I talk about a pretty lady.

Per usual, he was not glued to the television last night when Kristen Stewart hobbled onto the stage.  She was a hot mess, bless her heart.  She was limping, there was a big bruise on her arm, her hair was all messed up – I’m tellin’ ya, she looked like she had just done the walk of shame home from a fraternity formal.

I’m not really a fan of Stewart’s – she’s painfully melancholy, she had an affair with someone else’s husband, and quite frankly, her acting sucks.  Be that as it may, even I felt a little sorry for KStew last night, because she’s was clearly having a bad day.  Apparently she had an accident and cut her foot on some glass, causing her to use crutches on the red carpet.  But, since she always looks totally miserable and angry at the world, I just thought she was on some sort of drugs to get her through her sh*tty life.  (I still think she was on a little somethin’-somethin’, but I digress.)

By the time Jennifer Lawrence won for Best Actress I was asleep (due to the fact that I’m old and have a job to get up for), but I did watch the recap this morning – and that fall she took – what a nightmare.  Her post-win interview cracked me up, though.  I love a girl with a quick wit and the ability to laugh at herself.

Ben Affleck’s speech was the perfect example of why I love awards shows.  It was emotional, funny and slightly uncomfortable.   I’d  like to thank him (get it?) for having an honest moment on stage while thanking his wife for working on their marriage “for 10 Christmases.”  Anyone who found this insulting doesn’t understand marriage.  My favorite part of his speech, however, was when he said, “It doesn’t matter how you get knocked down in life, because that’s going to happen.  It’s that you get back up.”

Until I write and am subsequently nominated for “Best Original Screenplay,” I guess I’ll just continue to practice my acceptance speech (using my hairbrush as the award, of course) in front of the mirror in my bathroom.  When Scott isn’t home.