I lead a sugar free life. I’ve touched on this before but, you see, carbohydrates are not my friends. I could post some pictures circa 2002 that would prove my point, but you’re just gonna have to take my word for it. They involve a white tube dress at my friend’s twenty-first birthday party, and, well, I just don’t want to go back there again. It was a dark and gloomy day when I saw myself in those pictures singing karaoke (isn’t that bad enough?) with that dress on. One would think that my friends would’ve said something. A simple, “Mandi, that dress doesn’t quite work with your thighs…let’s try something a little larger and in BLACK.” They didn’t, and if my mama weren’t reading this, I’d call them something ugly.

Moving on…since I’m a low carber, I tend to miss sugary, bread-y goodies. So, one day a month I eat whatever I want all day long. It’s known by my friends and family as “carb day” and it’s not something I take lightly. Specific plans are made for this day. I know what you’re thinking, and I care not. Yes, it’s a little odd…but if you hadn’t had sugar in six years (holy moly that’s my longest commitment!), you’d plan the darn day out, too.

Today, my friends, is a carb day. Here’s a gchat snippet to let you know how it’s going:

me: Confession. Today is carb day.
me: The Krispy Kreme “Hot Now” sign got me on the way into town. So, I got a dozen for my co-workers. Might as well make it carb day for everyone! Anyway, the confession. I’ve eaten three of them. 3 doughnuts, Mag. It’s 10:00am. This is not a good sign.
Meigs: oh lawd

I’m clumsy. Not in a “I’ve broken every bone in my body” kind of way, but just in general. I trip up, I stumble, I fall down. Stuff like that.

The reason I bring this up is that I’m currently sporting a humongo (that’s humongous, mom) bruise on my arm that everyone seems to notice and comment on. Many times in the last two weeks I’ve heard, “Ohmygoodness, honey – what on Earth happened to your arm?” As much as I want to tell them a cool story, like, “I was wakeboarding and didn’t land my tantrum” or “I went rock climbing last weekend” – all I can say (honestly, anyway) is that I fell down my stairs.

Today, I hit my head on my desk while reaching underneath to turn my heater on (yes, it is cold in my office and yes, it is 100 degrees outside). Last night I hit my shin on my bed frame while turning down the comforter. Last week I tripped over my dog’s leash and almost face planted into the sidewalk (in front of two other neighborhood walkers, naturally). This time last year I sliced my finger to the bone while cutting rose stems. These incidents are never fun, but I always take comfort in knowing that I am not alone.

A good friend of mine married a guy who is quite possibly the most clumsy person I’ve ever met. He’s such a nice fellow, but he can spill a drink or drop a plate of food in a heartbeat. It’s pretty much guaranteed every time they have a meal. Another friend of mine is fairly clumsy herself, and in fact, just recently gave herself a black eye while unloading groceries from her car.

Why do some of us suffer from this clumsy curse? Is it to keep us humble? Remind us to slow down? Or, are others just more cautious than we are?

Do you guys remember this post?

Well, imagine my delight when I opened the newspaper to see a list of “coming soon” channels. That’s right, friends – Bravo is coming to the television in my living room!

(Insert happy dance here.)

The Gym Shooter
Seriously, people, this guy was a whack job. I’m bored/confused by people saying they “feel sorry” for him. I don’t. He murdered people. Because he didn’t have any friends or a girlfriend since 1980-something. 100 bucks says there’s a reason for that. And the reason is he was a psycho.

Krazy Glue Cheater
It’s not funny, but it is. That Krazy Glue is stome strong stuff, y’all. One time when I was little (and my grandmother was supposed to be watching me), I Krazy glued a nickle to our kitchen table. My parents were not too pleased, and tried everything to get it off (to no avail). But, it always made for a good laugh when someone who hadn’t dined with us before tried to pick it up. It did eventually come off. 15 years later.

Sonia Sotomayor
This makes me yawn a little, as I had hoped for a bit more “umph” during the hearings. But, all in all, I love a woman in power. Go ‘head, Sonia.

Mariah Carey vs. Eminem
Ohnoshedidn’t. Yep, she did. Mimi should’ve known better than to diss the lyrical genius and not-so-stable Marshall Mathers. I’m Team Eminem on this one, folks.

Dear Couples Who Update Their Facebook Status To Let Everyone Know They Just Got-It-On,
Don’t. Inappropriate.
Love,
M

I know, I know – you’re all over it. However, I wanted to share a few pictures of me and the girls (Erica and Kristin) from our trip.

Here are a few of my favorites, and although I’d like to bore you with pictures of just buildings, I won’t:

At the Palace of Versailles

Visiting the Tour Eiffel the night before Bastille Day

Riding the carousel at the Eiffel Tower

Kristin on the carousel

At Notre-Dame Cathedral

Barcelona, Spain

At Park Guell (Gaudi Park)

Waiting on the Tour de France to go by (we saw it eventually)

On the bus tour

Madrid, Spain
At the Plaza Mayor

Just a cute street in Madrid (we thought it looked very European)

At Almudena Cathedral

To sum it up, my trip was unforgettable and much needed. Needed to see and experience new things, to reconnect with an old friend, to make a new friend, to meet people from different parts of the world, to realize the definition of picturesque, to remember how lucky I am, to recognize what my shortcomings (foreign languages) and strong points (comic relief) are.

I wrote to my mom while I was away, telling her how beautiful every city was and how lucky I felt to be there. And, I did feel incredibly fortunate. Back at the end of 2008, I wrote a blog entry called, “Year in Review” that included a challenge at the end – and, although it was worded to you (the reader) it was directed at me. What I said was this:

“Years pass so quickly. Time really and truly flies by before we know it. So, do things that make you happy. Love. Be nice (yes, even when you don’t want to). Laugh and cry with your friends. Enjoy your family. Stand up for yourself. Take a vacation. Make resolutions. Take actions. Improve yourself.”

Lately (as you can tell from my postings), I’ve been feeling exceptionally thankful for all the good that I have in my life. Maybe it’s because I took this challenge to heart. Maybe it’s because I’m turning into an old sap. Maybe it’s because I’m going through some sort of 29 and counting crisis. Maybe it’s because I know so many people who have lost a loved one this year…to be honest, I’m not really sure. All I know is that when I think back to “the place” I was in this time a year ago, I can’t help but be appreciative of where I am now.

So, that headache I mentioned yesterday? It’s still here.

What? The? Hell?

If I don’t blog tomorrow, someone inquire about me.

• Does anyone else not trust people who don’t have a picture on their facebook profile?
• Does anyone else have a headache?
• Does anyone else wonder why Fox News only hires blonde reporters?
• Does anyone else find themselves oddly excited about college football season approaching?
• Does anyone else need a pedicure like nobody’s business?
• Does anyone else have a dog with an internal alarm? (I wish I could push his nose for snooze sometimes.)
• Does anyone else hate to unload the dishwasher?
• Does anyone else want to tell people that even though it is summer – white pants are not for everyone?
• Does anyone else have an obsession with greek olive hummus?
• Does anyone else get hilarious emails from their mom? (It involved Kathy Lee, how she won’t shut up, that she looks like a fool and someone needs to help her.)
• Does anyone else think Jillian from The Bachelorette should lose the hair extensions?
• Does anyone else have a hard time finishing a book these days?

First of all, I despise professional football, and most professional sports for that matter (sans golf, of course). Professional athletes (generally speaking) lack loyalty, heart and pretty much think their sh, er, crap doesn’t stink. They go around acting like total asses, and get paid millions of dollars. Yes, I know I just lumped a whole mess of people into that statement, and that some of them are nice/generous with their time and money…blah, blah, blah.

Today, I’m angry. The folks over at the National Football League decided that Michael Vick should be reinstated. I think they’ve made better decisions. Way to take your time on that one, guys – he’s been out for how long? A week?

If Michael Vick had committed crimes against children, or any person for that matter, the NFL wouldn’t touch him with a 10 foot pole. But hey, they’re only animals – so let’s allow the bastard make millions of dollars for himself again. He’s “sorry” right? He deserves a second chance, right? You know, I would be sorry if I cursed out my boss for something he or she said or did, but I doubt I would get a second chance after doing so. I’m pretty sure I’d have to find another source of income.

I for one, hope no one puts him on their payroll. Not even Burger King. I hope he spends the rest of his life in poverty, thinking about his choices and being spit on by strangers.

I told you I was angry…

yay for:
weekend plans in charleston
a clean doggie
liking my new haircut (collar bone length, y’all – this is big for me)
crystal light pink lemonade
a little black dress and a skinny gold belt
this wedding entrance that makes me laugh
people who understand customer service (thanks, insurance company)
erica uploading her 800, yes 800, pictures from our trip
a horoscope that i like
these sugar free goodies, which make my low carb lifestyle bearable
a compliment on my earrings
funny emails from friends
summertime tans and flip flops