Men are sh*t. (Sorry for the language, Mom.)

Really, Tiger? Really? As if my faith in men weren’t already on shaky ground, you go and cheat on your smokin‘ hot fashion model wife with a not-so-cute cocktail waitress. Great.

Somewhere in South Carolina, Governor Mark Sanford is grinning.

The last time I saw him, we packed up my things
And he smiled like the first time he told me his name
And we cried with each other
We split the blame
For the parts that we couldn’t change
Pictures, dishes and socks
It’s our whole life down to one box
There he was waving goodbye on the front porch alone
But I was already gone

From “Already Gone” performed by Sugarland

(Trees, y’all. Real vs. Fake Christmas trees.)

It’s that time of year when everyone is putting up their Christmas decorations and talking about how long it takes, how much trouble it is, when is too early to put them up, when is too late to take them down, etc. And, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed this (you will from here on out), but people generally fall into two categories: real tree people and fake tree people.

After years of thinking this to myself and holding it in, I’ve decided to just come out with it. “Real tree people” are snobs. Yes, snobs. They turn their noses up at our fake (pre-lit, low maintenance, sturdy, always the right size for your space) Christmas trees. And I, for one, am tired of it. Fine, you have a real tree. It smells delightful, it wouldn’t be Christmas without one, you can’t wait to go pick it out, etc. Great. Enjoy it. But, don’t you turn your nose up at me because I don’t enjoy getting sap all over me while stringing lights and hanging ornaments, or vacuuming the floor every day when it sheds.

I like my tree, you like your tree. The End. There’s no need for you to tell me how much better your Christmas tree is, especially because of the smell. One word: candles.

The funniest comment I’ve seen about this is from someone I won’t name, as I don’t have their permission. I will, however, share what was written:

That’s funny, I don’t care who you are.

Families. They’re complicated. Now, maybe yours isn’t, but mine? Well, it’s not certainly not simple.

Thanksgiving is a time for family togetherness, but I’ve heard countless stories this week about divided families. Families who won’t spend the holiday together because not everyone gets along. What a shame, really, to not be able to put aside our differences for a few hours to celebrate a day of thankfulness. Some wounds are too deep, I guess, to be able to do this – and a part of me gets that. But the other part of me wants to knock some sense into the stubborn minds of folks.

Sure, families hurt each other. Deeply. We always seem to hurt the ones who love us, no matter how hard we try not to. Inevitably, every family will be faced with a circumstance or situation that can divide them. This Thanksgiving, I hope that you are with your family (if you are physically able to be). I hope that you’re around moms, dads, step-moms, step-dads, children, brothers, sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Because I am certain that whatever differences you may have at this moment, wouldn’t matter at all if you never had the opportunity to be with them again.

Happy early Thanksgiving, everyone.

Is it still cool to like John Mayer? A lot?

Scratch the like, because who am I kidding? I love him. Immensely. He has a new album out and so I’m really hoping that he is relevant again. Because he’s talented/funny/good looking in that just-because-he-can-play-guitar kind of way, and I don’t care that he continues to break Jennifer Aniston’s heart. When I hear his music, it takes me back to driving around Charleston with my friends, talking about boys and where we were going out that night.

I hope my readers will forgive me for my postings this week. You don’t have to say it, I’m aware that they’ve sucked. But, don’t give up on me! I’ve been sick, but still going to work (because who can stay home in this economy? no thank you, I’ll just infect everyone else.) and that has made me one tired broad.

In other news, that Vampire movie came out this week and I have to say…I just don’t get it. My friend Lauren (yep, called her out) caved and bought the first book this week, but I am going to stay strong. I don’t need any additional addictions in my life, so I’m staying Twilight free.

Rant:
I love me some music. If my favorite song (it’s still Party In The USA, by the way) comes on while I’m driving, I’ll turn it way up and sing along – no matter who is watching. I do not, however, have the music up so loud that it rattles windows in people’s homes and sets off alarms. So, to the person who continues to do this up and down my avenue, I just want to say: Stop it. Before you bust an eardrum.

• Does anyone else feel ridiculous when a pharmacist gives you the once over to make sure you are not a meth addict when you buy Mucinex?
• Does anyone else want to knock Sarah Palin’s glasses off?
• Does anyone else think that “reply all” emails at work should be banned?
• Does anyone else wonder what it would be like to have three days off for Thanksgiving?
• Does anyone else watch The Amazing Race and think they should be a contestant?
• Does anyone else despise that it gets dark so soon now?
• Does anyone else have a pet who is smarter than most people?
• Does anyone else wish their mom could cook them dinner tonight?
• Does anyone else drink as much diet coke as I do?
• Does anyone else always forget to upload photos?
• Does anyone else get text messages from their ex about who they went out on a date with?
• Does anyone else secretly wish Facebook didn’t tell you when people’s birthdays are?
• Does anyone else wonder who would buy a Snuggie for their dog?
• Does anyone else get excited when they find a typo on a news website?

Raise your hand if you love The Office. *Hand raised*

I’m short on time today, so here are some classic Jim vs. Dwight prank moments: