Modern Day Soapboxes

12 Aug

I give my friend Benton a hard time about updating her Facebook status, and in discussing with her why, we decided I needed to blog about my dislike of the status box.  Hat tip on the title, B.

If you aren’t familiar with Facebook, you are either:  a) from another planet or b) pretty darn old – like 80 or something, because even my parents know what Facebook is.  Moving along, Facebook has this “status” section where people can type what they’re doing, why they’re doing it, where they are, where they’re going, etc.  It should be mentioned that it hasn’t always been there – us old school Facebookers remember the days sans status updates (and applications, for that matter, but I digress).  

The status usually starts with a person’s name, for example, “Mandi is” –  and then you fill in the blank.  You see all sorts of fill in the blank responses.  Everything from Blank is cleaning her house to Blank is in love with her new car.  Often, you see simple things, such as, Blank is at work or Blank is ready for the weekend.  Some people rarely update their status, and some people update it several times a day.  So, what’s my beef with the Facebook status feature?
  • Well, first of all, if you are at work, you probably shouldn’t put that tidbit on Facebook.  Unless you are the boss, are sleeping with him, have a very relaxed one, or work for Mark Zuckerberg.
  • Secondly, what kind of TMI (too much information) society have we become when we tell everyone what we’re doing every hour?  Seriously, I would not be surprised to see Blank is going to the restroom and will be back in ten minutes.  As my friend Erica would say, “that’s just too much, really.”  
  • Thirdly, there’s something I call the “mysterious status update,” and it’s just creepy.  Blank is thinking of someone special is used in an attempt to intrigue others, I presume, only it doesn’t intrigue me – it creeps me out and makes me wonder if you are stalking someone.
  • Lastly, and perhaps most annoying, the status update is quickly becoming a modern day soapbox for people to vent their frustrations.  Some use this in conjunction with the mysterious status update to get their point across, without actually calling someone out.  I call this the “passive aggressive status update.”  Blank is extremely pissed or Blank thinks people who are going to vote for John McCain are idiots.  We all need a place to vent our frustrations, true, but get a therapist (or get a blog).  And while you’re at it, call the person you’re pissed off at and tell them why.  Maybe they won’t do it again.

I’ve come up with some legitimate reasons for updating your status.  I know you’re on the edge of your seat, so here goes:

  • If you get engaged, married or have a baby.
  • If you are going on a fabulous trip somewhere (you paid for your Hawaiian vacay, so go ahead and brag, but please refrain from giving us a countdown until you leave).
  • If you need to thank people for wishing you Happy Birthday, Happy Graduation, Happy Engagement, etc.
  • If you do something newsworthy.  Winning the lottery, having a book published, finding the cure for cancer, beating cancer, etc. 
That’s about it.  Ready for the weekend?  Guess what?  Everyone is.  I doubt there is one person on Earth who looks at the calendar on Thursday and says, “You know, I’d like 5 more days of working with no break.”  Sad that summer break is over?  Some of us don’t get a summer break anymore (and are bitter about it), so get over it.  And stop telling everyone how tired you are, how glad you are that it’s raining, where you ate last night and what you are watching on television.  We.  Don’t.  Care.

Note:  Some of my very best friends (and favorite people) are status update addicts, so don’t go hating me and calling me a *beep* – and, never ever take me too seriously.  Lord knows I don’t.  

6 Responses to “Modern Day Soapboxes”

  1. The Days August 13, 2008 at 3:48 pm #

    Dear Mandi,Don’t need no hateration.Daniel

  2. Mandi August 13, 2008 at 3:59 pm #

    Daniel-I know, right? And, truth be told, I’d miss ’em if they were gone. It gives my nosey nature the “fix” it needs throughout the day.

  3. Delaney August 13, 2008 at 10:57 pm #

    Delaney is…going to continue to update my status box with all the mundane details of my life jazzed up to make everyone think I live a much more exciting life than I actually do.Delaney…just used the phrase “jazzed up”. Lame!

  4. The Days August 14, 2008 at 2:40 pm #

    I’m holding you personally responsible for the lack of updates on my friends status page today.

  5. Meigs August 14, 2008 at 4:34 pm #

    Lisa Jackie Cox ❤ Status Updates

  6. Mandi August 14, 2008 at 9:48 pm #

    Lisa Jackie Cox is newsworthy. Don’t you agree?

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