Trampoline Jumping is Not a Sport and Other Thoughts

20 Aug

First of all, I’m obsessed with the Olympics.  Like, staying up until the wee hours and missing reality television shows to see them obsessed.  If I ever have one of those children people speak of, I’ll do my best to make him or her the next Michael Phelps.  I’m sure they’ll rebel and play chess or something, but a girl can hope, right?

Here are my thoughts on the 2008 Olympics:
1.  Chinese people can build them some venues.  Hate it for you, London.  Face it – you can’t top the Bird’s Nest or the Water Cube.
2.  I’m a little over the word “Beijing” – do they have to say it every three seconds?  (It works, however, because now it’s on my list of places to see before I die.)
3.  The judges have been paid off, I’m certain of it.  I’m not trying to be a Bitty Betty, but come on…the Chinese aren’t always better.
4.  Interviews directly after someone runs as fast as they can for 200 meters (or any amount, really) are cruel.  So is zooming in on a swimmer’s face after they break a world record.
5.  Trampoline jumping is not a sport.  Neither is ping pong.  Hey Olympic Committee – seriously?
6.  The tune that plays when they change over to a different sport makes me happy.
7.  Bob Costas never ages.
8.  I only understand every fourth word Bella Coroli says.
9.  The women’s USA volleyball team is bad ass.  And their skimpy outfits are, too.
10.  Those awful looking swim caps can not make you that much faster.  I’d like to have a word with the person who started this trend.
11.  Marathons are crazy and leave me with unanswered questions.  What if they have to pee, for example.  I’ll refrain from sharing the rest, but if you run marathons let me know.  I’ll email you my list of queries.
12.  The bronze medal needs a little jazzing up – the gold and silver get all the glory, so I say we throw a few diamonds on that sucker and breathe new life into the winning the bronze.  Together we can make third place fabulous.

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