The Waiter Hates Me

11 Dec

Today, while at lunch with an old friend (like, known her for a long time old, not like 85 old), I began acting out a scene from a Christmas party I recently attended. In said scene, the person lifts a drinking glass up from the bar, wipes up under it, and sets the glass back down. This was done several times, so of course I did it several times, too. With my empty glass.

Our waiter, who was in a conversation with another waiter, looks our direction and asks hastily, “Would you like some more water?”

“Um, no thank you, I was just imitating someone,” I reply. Waiter was not amused. Waiter hates me/thinks I’m a moron/liar/weirdo.

I WAS JUST TELLING A STORY, WAITER BOY. I WASN’T IMPLYING THAT YOU SUCK AT YOUR JOB. YOU’RE VERY GOOD AT YOUR JOB. YOU ASKED US IF WE WERE OK SEVERAL TIMES. I LIKED YOU. I’M SORRY THAT I ACT THINGS OUT AND CAN’T JUST DESCRIBE THEM. I DIDN’T NEED MORE WATER, IN FACT, I DON’T EVEN LIKE WATER. I JUST THOUGHT I SHOULD DRINK IT BECAUSE I HAVE THIS COLD. I REALLY AM A NICE PERSON WHO WOULD NEVER PASSIVELY AGGRESSIVELY DEMAND WATER FROM A WAITER.

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2 Responses to “The Waiter Hates Me”

  1. CAC December 12, 2008 at 1:53 am #

    Ummm…you know I’m your UNCLE! 🙂

  2. BWC December 14, 2008 at 5:38 pm #

    Ahhh, now I know who was wiping their glass repeatedly!!!

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