It’s been a gloomy week here in Georgia, and even though it’s Friday, people ’round here don’t seem as excited about that as usual.

Might I suggest the following mood enhancers:

• This song is my jam. I don’t care if I’m too old to like her, every time it’s on, it’s a mandatory dance party.
• I have watched the Jim and Pam “wedding dance off spoof” scene at least 20 times on my DVR. Here ya go. Chuckling to begin shortly.
• Virtual window shopping here.
• This dessert feels so wrong, but with 60 calories and no sugar…it’s so right.
• Peopleofwalmart.com.
• Making a travel “to do” list.

Friend: hey, did i tell you that [Blank] got hit by a car friday night?
me: WHAT?? What do you mean he got HIT BY A CAR?
Friend: he walked out of [Blank] friday night and got hit by a car. he was taken to the hospital by ambulance. he also got a jaywalking ticket.
me: Are you for real? Is he ok??
Friend: i swear.
me: What did they do with his ticket, hand it to the EMTs?
Friend: he’s okay, the ticket is the funny part. he has his leg in an air splint.
me: Good Lord. That’s awful.
Friend: i know. he didn’t make it to the game on saturday.
me: Well I guess not, hon.

*Name and place have been omitted. The poor guy suffered enough.*

One of the nicest southern gentlemen I know, Ben, sent me this article today. Attention Northerners: We love you, we welcome you, but mind your manners…it could save your life.

Why is it that we Southerners are so polite? Is it because when we were little our parents would go outside and “get a switch” if we were not? Or is it just in our genes? I don’t know about you, but I get fired up if someone doesn’t hold the door open for others. Drives me bananas. Why is that? Why do I care? I’m not sure, exactly, but I do.

If you’re from the South and you already abide by the advice I’m about to give, please move on with your day. If not, take notes. There will be a pop quiz the next time you’re out and about.

Most of this is common sense, but I looked up the 5 basic rules of Southern Manners – and expanded them:

1. Modesty is a wonderful quality. Gettin’ up on a high horse or actin’ all highfalutin’ is just plain undesirable.

2. Others first, self last. This goes for walking through doors, going through a serving line, etc. It’s pretty simple, really.

3. Be courteous. Remember the whole, “do unto others” lesson? It still applies when you’re 25, or 42, or 79. After 80 you can do whatever the heck you want.

4. Behave yourself. Southern moms are notorious for telling their children to “act right” before going into a store/church/anywhere in public. Again, this still applies when you’re old. Don’t be rude, use profanity (I fail at this a little) or do anything else that would embarrass you if it was posted on YouTube. Because your Mama taught you better than that. And she’ll still take a switch across your hind legs if you give her reason to.

5. Be friendly. Ask how your neighbors are doing, speak to the guy who delivers your mail, say “hello” when you enter a store. And smile, for goodness sakes. As Truvy in Steel Magnolias said, “it increases your face value.”

I didn’t get that whole obsession with Christmas decorations/music thing that everyone else seems to have. I blame it on the fact that my birthday is very close to Christmas, and I always felt overshadowed. (I mean, my birthday should be overshadowed – Jesus trumps Mandi, but you know what I mean.) Thus, it’s Fall I love, with Halloween and Thanksgiving being my favorite holidays.

This weekend my mom came to assist me with decking the house with mums, pumpkins and scarecrows. It looks adorable, but it teeters on “a bit much.” There are multiple hay bales involved.

On another note, I got invited to a Halloween costume party (YESSSS!) and need some ideas of what to be, so post ’em if you’ve got ’em. I like clever, not slutty. For Halloween and in general.

When someone told this young woman she should be an entrepreneur, I don’t think this is quite what they had in mind. My favorite part? No sex offenders, please. Even bikini wearin’ cleaning ladies have standards.

But, hey, if it keeps her off a stripper pole…who am I to judge?

Hat tip to Emily, who found this gem.

On my way into work this morning, I heard an awful story on the radio about a pizza delivery man being beaten by a baseball bat by three teenagers. The man (who, by the way, is 66) is in critical condition.

So, how’d the thieves make out? A grand total of one pizza and $20. This might make me a redneck, but I’d like to go toe-to-toe with those little sh…er, jerks.



Teens Beat Pizza Man with Bat, Cops Say
Peter Daut

FORT WORTH, Texas – A Fort Worth pizza delivery man is in the hospital with severe injuries after he was attacked with a baseball bat by a trio of teenage boys. Police are now searching for the attackers.

Police say it happened late Saturday night at an abandoned house in the 1200 block of Bessie Street in east Fort Worth. Fredrick Rein, 66, was called to the house to deliver a pizza, but the call turned out to be a trap.

Investigators say Rein arrived at the house and was approached by three teenagers. One of the boys hit Rein in the head with an aluminum baseball bat and the three took off running with the stolen pizza.

Police say Rein is at a local hospital with serious head injuries. The three attackers are still at large.

What I’m about to say is not sexy. Today, I plucked a wrinkle. That’s right, what I thought was a hair near my right eyebrow was, in fact, a wrinkle. This realization depressed me, but not near as much as the zit on my cheek. Which appeared one day after the one on my chin.

This can not be normal. I mean, come on. Will somebody please explain to my body that it has to pick one or the other…old age or puberty? Both is just plain ugly.

It’s October 1st, and in my city today, the lamp posts (sans that one I knocked over) have huge pink bows on them, our downtown fountains are pink and our newspaper was printed on pink paper. Where I live, it’s hard to not be aware that today begins Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

In honor of that, my blog will also be pink today, so don’t adjust your screen.

From the Susan G. Komen for the Cure website:
You may be a runner. A volunteer. Or an activist. But however you choose to get involved, just know that everything you do makes a difference. After all, without the support of people like you, we know 10 million people could die of breast cancer in the next 25 years. Susan G. Komen for the Cure® strives to raise funds and educate people in the battle against breast cancer through global events and legislative actions each year. Breast cancer is still killing and impacting far too many of our loved ones. So, how will you get involved?

The Hills is back. And, thank goodness for Kristin Cavallari, who will no doubt bring back the drama and cattiness. While I loved Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port, I was growing tired of their intern fashion world. Give me a man-stealing-spunky-troublemaker any day of the week. (Not in real life, of course.)

King of the Crown is a new show on TLC, about a pageant coach (his name is Cy Frakes) from Columbia, South Carolina. For reality show junkies like me, this show is heaven. He tells young women if they need more cardio or if when they open their mouth stupidity comes out. It sounds rude, but he’s incredibly tactful. Well, not incredibly. Just tactful. Interestingly enough, one of his clients is Caitlin Upton, from the Miss Teen USA pageant a few years back (you remember her, the “some people don’t have maps” girl), so you know he has his work cut out for him.

I know what your thinking – you’re judging me. But the way I see it, we use our brains enough during the day – give yours a rest a few nights a week by watching one of these. Or both of them. And The Rachel Zoe Project. Someone take the remote away from me.

That Kate Walsh is one smokin’ redhead. She makes me want to buy a Cadillac, and I’m a woman. Every time I see her (or Debra Messing, for that matter) I get the urge to grab a box of Nice ‘n Easy and give that hair color a whirl.

Despite her terrible decision to leave Grey’s Anatomy for that unfortunate television show she is currently on, she proved last week that she can, in fact, make a good choice every now and then. Here she is at the Emmy Awards looking effortlessly glamorous in a gray J.Mendel gown, paired with chunky gold earrings and bracelets: