Last Sunday I didn’t do much of anything. I call these few and far between days “no makeup Sundays” because, well, I don’t put any makeup on. (Side note: I always feel really cute on the Monday following a no makeup Sunday.)

Anyway, last Sunday I was flipping through the channels and came across the movie Baby Mama. The following scenes from that movie always make me laugh out loud:

“I don’t know! Maybe you stuck some of it under there.”

“Because working is awesome and being married sucks.”

Dear People of Earth,
I’m going to begin this by telling you all that I’m far from perfect. I have, from time to time, made a mistake or 1000. That said, I’ve got some things I need to get off my chest.

Please refrain from using the word “christian” when it’s convenient for you. It’s one massive statement for you to call yourself Christ-like. If you claim to be Christ-like, you better be able to back that statement up with more than one example. And, “I didn’t call so-and-so a stupid slut” isn’t one of ’em. I’m going to need a resume and cover letter to go along with that Christ-like proclamation. Oh, and references that do not include your grandma.

Moving right along, if you’re a guy and you take a girl on a date, why not go the extra few steps and open the door for her? Opening doors, fellas – it might just open a door for you, if you know what I’m sayin’. This is 2010, and while you don’t always have to pick up the check, you do always have to open the door(s).

Also, if at all possible, please RSVP when you’re asked to. If it says “regrets only” they really mean that. If you don’t ask for an RSVP, here’s a news flash: You are not going to get one.

Finally, and we’ve been over this a million times and I know you’re tired of hearing it, but I feel the sudden need to reiterate it. Putting your personal business all over the Facebook is not acceptable. I don’t care how much you hate your ex, and I don’t want to read about your ingrown hairs or see photos of your bloody broken off fingernail. Take that shiz back to MySpace, ok?
Love,
M

Is it just me, or is everybody and their mama talking about their plans for the 4th of July? It amazes me more each year just how much buzz there is about the 4th. It’s become the new New Year’s Eve, where you feel bad if you don’t have the best possible plans lined up.

So far I’ve heard plans including the lake, beach, picnics and fireworks. Not one person has told me they don’t have any plans. Don’t get me wrong, I love that we Americans take our day of independence to heart and celebrate the holy heck out of it, but it just seems like we all go a bit overboard these days.

Whatever happened to a cookout with your family and sparklers when it got dark?

Props to Georgia’s g-o-v, who recently signed a bill that bans texting and driving. Beginning next Thursday, anyone caught typing while behind the wheel of a car will be fined $150, and will lose one point on their driver’s license.

I’m guilty of sneaking in a text or two at a red light, but not anymore. At $150 – whoever texts me will just have to wait.

It’s good to get out of the country ever now and again. And by country, I’m not just talkin‘ about the rural south, y’all.

If you’ve never wallowed around in a cabana under the sun, drank mango margaritas and chowed down on some chips and guacamole while on a beach in Mexico…add that to your list of things to do before you die. It. Was. Glorious. I’m broke as a joke, but it was fun while it lasted.

A day I wouldn’t mind doing over.

Blogging from Mexico, y’all. Life is good.

Well, the plane touched down just about 3 o’clock
And the city’s still on my mind
Bikinis and palm trees danced in my head
I was still in the baggage line

Concrete and cars are there own prison bars
like this life I’m living in
But the plane brought me farther
I’m surrounded by water
And I’m not going back again

I got my toes in the water, ass in the sand
Not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand
Life is good today. Life is good today.

From “Toes” by Zac Brown Band

___________________________

I’ve been up to my neck workin’ 6 days a week
Wearin’ holes in the soles of the shoes on my feet
Been dreamin’ of gettin’ away since I don’t know
Ain’t no better time than now..for Mexico

No shoes, no shirt, no problems
Blues what blues?
Hey I forgot ’em
The sun and the sand and a drink in my hand
With no bottom
No shoes, no shirt, and no problems

From “No Shoes, No Shirts, No Problems” performed by Kenny Chesney

In searching for old photos of my dad for his 70th birthday party (which was a surprise, by the way…and it didn’t occur to me that surprising someone at that age might have negative consequences until the day of), my brother found this old photograph of my dad and his “crew” growing up:
That would be my dad on the far left, with the super rolled up jeans and the hat on. His twin brother is on the far right.

It never ceases to amaze me how shocked I am when I see something like this and realize (yet again) that my parents had a life before me.

Recent snippets from my cell phone make my friends and I look like child haters and alcoholics. Before you go hatin’ on us, we are neither.

Text Messaging with Cecilia:
Tuesday night…
Me: I may or may not have had wine for dinner. Guess which?
Cecilia: I am going to go with door number 1.

Saturday…
Me: Baby showers. If you ever have one, I’m drinking before, during and after. You have been warned.
Cecilia: Um, yeah. Are y’all playing pin the tail on the infant yet? Oh, and my personal favorite…’everyone who is not artistic decorate a onesie.’ Right now I’m working on some chicken salad and about to hit up the pool. Holla at your childless girl.

Blackberry messages from a friend:
Today…
Friend: Babies R Us…the sixth circle of hell.
Friend: The people in here appear to be very unhappy…just sayin’…
Friend: I’m starting to itch! I think I am allergic.

Our book club (which I have dubbed ‘Good in Bed,’ much to the chagrin of my mother) is reading Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia. If ever one could fall in love with a book, I’ve done so with this read. I have scraps of sticky-notes all over it, marking yet another favorite part. At times, I feel as though the author went into my brain and stole my thoughts, insecurities, love for travel and experiences with men and then wrote a book about it. How lovely/rude of her.

Reading this book has been a little bit like therapy for me. (But way cheaper, y’all. I got it at the Junior League Attic Sale for, like, $4.) I can relate to many of her ups and downs and soul searching moments. As ridiculous as this sounds, I might just leave it on my nightstand permanently. You know, just in case I have a fleeting moment of self-pity or something. I will have it right there, within reach, so that I can flip to the sticky-note pages and instantly feel better because someone else has been there, too.

There is something deeply comforting about knowing someone else has been in your shoes. That you aren’t the only one who has had a certain surgical procedure, or has been laid off, or who couldn’t find a job for months, or has a friend or family member they miss, or got married and subsequently divorced. Knowing that someone else feels or has felt the same way at one time, well, it can mean the difference between losing it and pulling it together. I wish someone would’ve shoved this book into my hands circa January of 2009, but I guess just like any other love – it was probably worth the wait.

The following quote made my sticky-note list:

“I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism.” — Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia)

Do you ever have those days when your give-a-damn is busted when it comes to clothes?

I frequently put on an outfit for work rapidly (as I’m usually running behind), and most days I do pretty well (if I do say so myself). But, today…today, I look a lot like Johnny Cash. Black pencil skirt, black top, black earrings and mostly black heels (they have tiny white polka dots on them).

In other news, I just realized a plus side of my long distance relationship! As long as I look good Friday-Sunday, he’ll never know that some days I end up looking like a Project Runway task gone wrong.