Rants and things that annoy me…

• White jeans are the devil. I vow here and now to never try a pair on again. I don’t really like them that much anyway, and probably only have a desire to own a pair beause of Baby’s in Dirty Dancing (and that they were designer jeans on sale for $40). At any rate, white jeans plus my lower body do not mix. It was ugly. As Clairee in Steel Magnolias once said, it looked like “two pigs fightin‘ under a blanket.” Yes, two movie references in one paragraph.
• I loathe it when people call Charleston, South Carolina, “Chucktown.” It is in my top 5 pet peeves. It makes me ill.
• People who call you to ask you for a phone number are ridiculous. Google. Look into it.
• Texting lingo and ToGgLe case letters.
• “TGIF” – in person or in a status update. It’s unnecessary. News bulletin: We’re all thankful it’s Friday.

From Vogue:

Before Jenny Sanford came along, the options for wronged political wives were pretty poor. You could suffer silently (see Silda Wall Spitzer), deny everything (hello, Hillary), or make catty asides about the harlot who caused your husband to stray (Elizabeth Edwards).

Then came Jenny Sanford. Early this past summer, just as the world was savoring the news that yet another conservative Republican politician had tumbled from grace in a manner worthy of the best French farce—“hiking the Appalachian Trail” will never have the same meaning—there emerged an unlikely hero in the mess down in South Carolina. Petite, clear-eyed, strong-willed, pious without being smug, smart without being caustic, Jenny Sanford became an unlikely heroine by telling the simple truth. Her children were the most important thing in the world to her. She had kicked the lying bum out of the house when he refused to give up his mistress, but marriage is complex, life is hard, and if he wanted to try and make the marriage work, the door was open.
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Short post, be forewarned. Mondays…they’re a ___.

I was out of town this weekend, doing a little wedding attending and beachin’ it up. While lying on the beach, my friend Nancy Margaret’s husband (Bob) hurled something from the ocean up to us on shore. None of us moved or showed any concern about said flying object because we were pretty far away. It got closer and closer, and then WHAM: it hit me on the left thigh.

What was it? This. And yes, it was full. His intentions were good, though, as he was trying to rid our coast of litter.

Perhaps Bob should give the NFL a whirl. Might as well – I hear the Eagles will take anybody.

While talking to a girlfriend this morning, I remembered a time that we bashed her ex’s new girlfriend’s name. You might have to reread that last line. She didn’t have an ordinary name, you know, not one you hear every day. And, we couldn’t call her ugly (because she wasn’t) and we couldn’t talk about what a terrible person she was (because we didn’t really know her), so what did we do to insult her? We said, “Seriously. Get a real name.”

If you watched Sex and the City, you will remember an episode where Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda do something similar with Mr. Big’s new gal. It makes me chuckle, so I’ve included it below, so you can, too:

Carrie: There is no way that the love that I had with Big is the same thing he has with Natasha.
Miranda: Natasha? When’d you stop calling her the “Idiot Stick Figure With No Soul?”
Carrie: About three weeks ago when I saw them at Cafe M. He was holding her hand and smiling and…I finally got it. They’re happy, slash, we’re over. And it was okay.
Samantha: Natasha. What a bullshit name.
Miranda: Totally.
Charlotte: Stupid!
Carrie: Yeah, it’s complete bullshit.

SATC fan bonus: If you loved that season finale (called Ex and the City) as much as I did, here’s a clip from it.

I lead a sugar free life. I’ve touched on this before but, you see, carbohydrates are not my friends. I could post some pictures circa 2002 that would prove my point, but you’re just gonna have to take my word for it. They involve a white tube dress at my friend’s twenty-first birthday party, and, well, I just don’t want to go back there again. It was a dark and gloomy day when I saw myself in those pictures singing karaoke (isn’t that bad enough?) with that dress on. One would think that my friends would’ve said something. A simple, “Mandi, that dress doesn’t quite work with your thighs…let’s try something a little larger and in BLACK.” They didn’t, and if my mama weren’t reading this, I’d call them something ugly.

Moving on…since I’m a low carber, I tend to miss sugary, bread-y goodies. So, one day a month I eat whatever I want all day long. It’s known by my friends and family as “carb day” and it’s not something I take lightly. Specific plans are made for this day. I know what you’re thinking, and I care not. Yes, it’s a little odd…but if you hadn’t had sugar in six years (holy moly that’s my longest commitment!), you’d plan the darn day out, too.

Today, my friends, is a carb day. Here’s a gchat snippet to let you know how it’s going:

me: Confession. Today is carb day.
me: The Krispy Kreme “Hot Now” sign got me on the way into town. So, I got a dozen for my co-workers. Might as well make it carb day for everyone! Anyway, the confession. I’ve eaten three of them. 3 doughnuts, Mag. It’s 10:00am. This is not a good sign.
Meigs: oh lawd

I’m clumsy. Not in a “I’ve broken every bone in my body” kind of way, but just in general. I trip up, I stumble, I fall down. Stuff like that.

The reason I bring this up is that I’m currently sporting a humongo (that’s humongous, mom) bruise on my arm that everyone seems to notice and comment on. Many times in the last two weeks I’ve heard, “Ohmygoodness, honey – what on Earth happened to your arm?” As much as I want to tell them a cool story, like, “I was wakeboarding and didn’t land my tantrum” or “I went rock climbing last weekend” – all I can say (honestly, anyway) is that I fell down my stairs.

Today, I hit my head on my desk while reaching underneath to turn my heater on (yes, it is cold in my office and yes, it is 100 degrees outside). Last night I hit my shin on my bed frame while turning down the comforter. Last week I tripped over my dog’s leash and almost face planted into the sidewalk (in front of two other neighborhood walkers, naturally). This time last year I sliced my finger to the bone while cutting rose stems. These incidents are never fun, but I always take comfort in knowing that I am not alone.

A good friend of mine married a guy who is quite possibly the most clumsy person I’ve ever met. He’s such a nice fellow, but he can spill a drink or drop a plate of food in a heartbeat. It’s pretty much guaranteed every time they have a meal. Another friend of mine is fairly clumsy herself, and in fact, just recently gave herself a black eye while unloading groceries from her car.

Why do some of us suffer from this clumsy curse? Is it to keep us humble? Remind us to slow down? Or, are others just more cautious than we are?

Do you guys remember this post?

Well, imagine my delight when I opened the newspaper to see a list of “coming soon” channels. That’s right, friends – Bravo is coming to the television in my living room!

(Insert happy dance here.)

The Gym Shooter
Seriously, people, this guy was a whack job. I’m bored/confused by people saying they “feel sorry” for him. I don’t. He murdered people. Because he didn’t have any friends or a girlfriend since 1980-something. 100 bucks says there’s a reason for that. And the reason is he was a psycho.

Krazy Glue Cheater
It’s not funny, but it is. That Krazy Glue is stome strong stuff, y’all. One time when I was little (and my grandmother was supposed to be watching me), I Krazy glued a nickle to our kitchen table. My parents were not too pleased, and tried everything to get it off (to no avail). But, it always made for a good laugh when someone who hadn’t dined with us before tried to pick it up. It did eventually come off. 15 years later.

Sonia Sotomayor
This makes me yawn a little, as I had hoped for a bit more “umph” during the hearings. But, all in all, I love a woman in power. Go ‘head, Sonia.

Mariah Carey vs. Eminem
Ohnoshedidn’t. Yep, she did. Mimi should’ve known better than to diss the lyrical genius and not-so-stable Marshall Mathers. I’m Team Eminem on this one, folks.

Dear Couples Who Update Their Facebook Status To Let Everyone Know They Just Got-It-On,
Don’t. Inappropriate.
Love,
M

I know, I know – you’re all over it. However, I wanted to share a few pictures of me and the girls (Erica and Kristin) from our trip.

Here are a few of my favorites, and although I’d like to bore you with pictures of just buildings, I won’t:

At the Palace of Versailles

Visiting the Tour Eiffel the night before Bastille Day

Riding the carousel at the Eiffel Tower

Kristin on the carousel

At Notre-Dame Cathedral

Barcelona, Spain

At Park Guell (Gaudi Park)

Waiting on the Tour de France to go by (we saw it eventually)

On the bus tour

Madrid, Spain
At the Plaza Mayor

Just a cute street in Madrid (we thought it looked very European)

At Almudena Cathedral

To sum it up, my trip was unforgettable and much needed. Needed to see and experience new things, to reconnect with an old friend, to make a new friend, to meet people from different parts of the world, to realize the definition of picturesque, to remember how lucky I am, to recognize what my shortcomings (foreign languages) and strong points (comic relief) are.

I wrote to my mom while I was away, telling her how beautiful every city was and how lucky I felt to be there. And, I did feel incredibly fortunate. Back at the end of 2008, I wrote a blog entry called, “Year in Review” that included a challenge at the end – and, although it was worded to you (the reader) it was directed at me. What I said was this:

“Years pass so quickly. Time really and truly flies by before we know it. So, do things that make you happy. Love. Be nice (yes, even when you don’t want to). Laugh and cry with your friends. Enjoy your family. Stand up for yourself. Take a vacation. Make resolutions. Take actions. Improve yourself.”

Lately (as you can tell from my postings), I’ve been feeling exceptionally thankful for all the good that I have in my life. Maybe it’s because I took this challenge to heart. Maybe it’s because I’m turning into an old sap. Maybe it’s because I’m going through some sort of 29 and counting crisis. Maybe it’s because I know so many people who have lost a loved one this year…to be honest, I’m not really sure. All I know is that when I think back to “the place” I was in this time a year ago, I can’t help but be appreciative of where I am now.