Makes Me Laugh, Makes People Uncomfortable

Texting…
Ben: I just found the greatest name for a Facebook album.
Me: What is it?
Ben: “My Couch Pulls Out, But I Don’t.”

Face to face convo about not-so-common implants…
Friend 1: I heard that he was getting an implant in his…
Friend 2: What? How does that work? Does it make it bigger all the time or just when…
Me: Are we talking elongating or thickening?

Phone convo…
Erica: So how have you been doing?
Me: Pretty good. I mean, I have my moments. Like last week on my way home when I heard this sad ass Kenny Chesney song.
Erica: WHAT? You’re listening to country music? No, no. You are going to have to ban country music for AT LEAST a year.

In response to that inevitable “how are you?” – you know, the one with the tone…
Friend: How are you?
Me: Well, I’m not jumping off any bridges any time soon, if that’s what you’re asking.

Face to face conversation with an insurance guy at work…
Guy: Ok, we will fill out this online form. Put in your name first. Now, are you married?
Me: Er, well…funny you should ask. Technically, yes. Well, legally, yes.
Guy: Why don’t we put the legal answer down, and you can always edit it later.
Me: Great. Can’t you just add an “it’s complicated” selection like on Facebook?
Guy: I’ll look into that.

G-chat convo…
Colleen: I’d like to do something for you, but I’m not sure what you do in this situation. Do they make a card or something?
Me: Get Well Soon?
Colleen: Haha. Sorry, but the only way I know how to handle things is with humor and sarcasm.
Me: That’s ok, that is how I get through life!