I was in Georgia’s capital city on business yesterday. It will come as no surprise to anyone who is breathing that lots of conversations focused on budget cuts and revenue shortfalls. However, what may come as a surprise to you is how many people were talking about a campaign to change the state’s bird. What’s to talk about, you ask?

The campaign, called Flip the Birds, asks Georgians to sign a petition to change the State Bird to the Chicken. Yes, y’all, they want us to eat our state bird. The best part? It was created by a “regular joe” named Chris Cunningham, who is the owner/president of the WifeSaver restaurant franchise – popular, of course, for their fried chicken.

The videos on the Flip the Birds website really gave me a chuckle. I’m embedding one where they trash the current state bird, the Brown Thrasher. Forget about the problems of our world (and your own world) for one minute, and enjoy the silliness of why “The Brown Thrasher is Wrong for Georgia.”

If you want to hear more, visit the website.

Thank goodness those Orange County and Atlanta hussies are outta here. The “real” Real Housewives have returned! The lovable ladies from NYC will be coming into my living room every Thursday night for a whole season. The ridiculous drama and awesome one-liners from Bethenny began last week, and I’m already hooked (again).

On the first episode we had to endure Ramona walking around in a less-than-full-coverage bikini, which left me wondering…at what age does a bikini need to be replaced by a one piece? Ramona is well into her 40’s, and although she has a great body, I feel like the bikini was a bit much. I’m thinking I will cut myself off from the two pieces at 35.

In other news, I am still unable to comprehend 98% of what Kelly says, but judging by the puzzled glances of Jill and Luann, I am not alone.

Soul patches. I’m not a fan. I want someone to hold Apollo Anton Ohno down and Nair his chin. (He should also rethink the link of his sideburns, but I digress.)

Is anybody else with me?

Last week, I was sitting at home watching the news, when I looked outside and saw a man park his truck, get out – and head towards my front door. Being the chicken that I am (and having just seen a crime related story), I decided to not answer my door to the strange man. He knocked a few times, and Wallace barked ferociously back at him. I stayed out of sight, and after he was gone I called my mom to analyze who it could have been and what they could have wanted.

My explanation, of course, was that he was a serial killer looking for his next unsuspecting victim. He would probably ask to use my phone because his truck was “broken down” and I, being the kind hearted gal that I am, would’ve invited him in and been TOAST. My mom wasn’t so convinced, but she was glad that I didn’t answer the door to a stranger. I listened in elementary school, thankyouverymuch.

Three days later, I went out onto my front porch to make sure that it was dry from a recent downpour (side note: Lord, if you are reading this, it’s ok to send someone else some rain. Perhaps Arizona? And, also, I’m sorry about the language.). And there, right next to one of my rocking chairs, was an apple pie and a note. A welcome package from a church I went to the week before.

Christian women baked me a pie and had it delivered, and I thought they were trying to kill me.

Dear Jake from The Bachelor,
Sigh. Another Bachelor, another let down.

While I didn’t exactly love baby voiced, dance-around-the-room-like-a-ballerina Tenley, I certainly would have preferred you choosing her over the sausage girl. What kind of name is Vienna, anyway?

I don’t know how to tell you this, but you took an opportunity that most men dream of, and instead of choosing a beautiful and intelligent lady (ahem, like Ali), you went and picked the stripper. No one proposes to the stripper, Jake. You looky, sure…but you don’t marry.

I’m sure you won’t be On The Wings of Love for long, though, so good luck finding someone who will want to date you after that gosh awful personality and needs-a-root-job Vienna has pawed you for a while.
Love,
M

Have you ever seen a displaced hubcap propped up against a sign, or hydrant?

I always think about what a nice gesture it was for someone to see the stray hubcap and prop it up so its rightful owner could possibly find it. Because, let’s face it, riding around like this is embarrassing.