The following items have put me in a good mood today – maybe they’ll enhance yours, too:
(click, please)
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All Dressed In White
9 Sep
Dressed in white, in the South, after Labor Day? No, no, no. Even though I loathe this Southern “rule” of fashion, I can’t bring myself to break it. It just feels wrong. Unless, of course, the white item you’re wearing is a wedding dress.
This past weekend, I had the distinct pleasure of wedding gown shopping with my dear friend, Nancy Margaret. I felt honored to be there with her as she tried on dress after dress, and listened to comment after comment about them from the other bridesmaids (and her mom). She looked good in almost all of them – and the ones she didn’t look good in had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with the dress designer. One particular dress made her look as if she was on her way to a toga party at the Kappa Sigma house. She was such a good sport about our opinions, puzzled faces and head nods.
We (and by “we” I mean she) found THE dress at the end of the day on Saturday. She went in the bridal dressing room alone this time, and called us in after she had it on. Everyone cried, including Nancy Margaret…which never happens. I’ve never seen her cry, except when we watched Man On Fire, and everyone cries at the end of that movie. Even Hitler would shed a tear over that one.
I lived with NM for three years, and I couldn’t help but flashback to the many days and nights we would try on an outfit for work, or for going out, and give our thoughts on what we should add/take away to make it “just right.” I can honestly say that seeing her stand there, dress and veil on, she needed nothing else. She looked perfect.
And, it’s official, I will be a sobbing mess when she walks down the aisle.
I Love What You’re Wearing
8 SepYa’ll. Shut up! The train wreck we all know and pity, the former Mrs. Federline, actually looked pretty at the VMAs. Here she is, just in case you’re like me – too old to watch the VMAs (so you see it on Today):
Love the dress, love the shoes, love the color on her. Love that she didn’t go to Sunset Tan for 600 hours and that she finally has some great hair extensions. Love that she started working out, and that she got her makeup and nails professionally done.
Watch out world, Britney might have a comeback up her sleeve. I just love a good comeback.
Beep, Beep, Beep
3 SepLike the constant, annoying sound of a beeping alarm, the media just woke the feminist side of me up. The unfair and judgmental coverage of Governor Sarah Palin is something that every woman in America should be insulted by. Shame on the countless editorial writers, bloggers, political commentators and reporters for questioning Palin’s ability to balance both her career and child-rearing home life. Last time I checked, this was 2008 – not 1950. (Just checked again, and sure enough…I don’t see any poodle skirts around.) This should be a non-issue, because it is a non-issue.
No one ever asks a male candidate if he will be able to “do it all” – have a successful political career, and raise his children without shortchanging one, or both. Think about that for a second. Have you ever tuned in to see four people on a news network discussing if a male candidate is putting his own ambitions above his family? I have not. Has anyone indicated that Barak Obama and his wife Michelle (who both work, by the way) are not equipped to handle the pressures of being President and First Lady and raising their two daughters, Malia and Sasha? What about John and Cindy McCain? Has anyone questioned their ability to balance their careers and their family life with four children? Not that I can find. As a woman, I resent this double standard. Palin should not be held to a different standard than any other nominee.
The allegations that she faked her pregnancy with son Trig, and that he really belongs to her daughter, are insulting and tasteless. (Someone has watched one too many episodes of Desperate Housewives.) The idea that she can’t be Vice President of the United States and still be a good mother is laughable. (My own mother was divorced, taught elementary school, worked as a waitress at night, got her master’s degree while doing both and raised two children without a staff or cabinet members, so call me crazy, but I’m not all that worried about Palin’s kids here.) To question her ability to lead because her seventeen-year-old daughter is pregnant is absurd. (When you were seventeen, I’m sure you heeded all of your parents advice, right?)
Discount her experience in politics, or her decisions made while in office – that is par for the course. You can even talk until you are blue in the face about whether or not she was properly vetted. Do not, however, discount her ability to be a good mom and the Vice President. Most women have superpowers that men can’t even fathom, so take a different (and less desperate), angle.
Yearbook Yourself
2 SepWhile I can’t take credit for finding this jewel of a web site, I will pass it along to my blog readers with gusto. I recently logged on to Facebook, and saw some familar faces sporting some very unfamilar hairdos/glasses/outfits. Turns out, they’d been on yearbookyourself.com, where you upload a current picture of yourself, size it a bit, and just like that – you are transformed into a 1966 version of yourself. Or 1978. Or 1990. There are lots of different years for you to “see yourself” in – so give it a try when you have some down time.
After I started inserting my friend’s photos, I giggled myself silly over this. I don’t have permission to publish theirs, so I’ll show you a couple of mine:
That’s me in 1966 and 1992. ’92 was a rough year, don’t you think?
Yellow Packets of Goodness
28 Aug
Woke up, let the doggie go outside, gave him his morning water and treat, ground some fresh coffee, waited for it to brew, poured cup, added cream, reached for Splenda, looked in box to find…an EMPTY box. Oh. My. Lord.
Unacceptable. I wanted to punch someone in the face, but seeing as how I’m the only person in our house who consumes coffee or Splenda, I didn’t really have any options there. And, no, we don’t have sugar in our house. If we had, I would’ve used it for sure.
I had to wait until I got to work to drink my first cup of joe. The horror. Grocery store stop on the way home? Check.
“It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. I bet this kind of thing does not happen to heroin addicts. I bet that when serious heroin addicts go to purchase their heroin, they do not tolerate waiting in line while some dilettante in front of them orders a hazelnut smack-a-cino with cinnamon sprinkles.” ~Dave Barry
“All the coffee in Colombia won’t make me a morning person.” ~Author Unknown
“Decaffeinated coffee is kind of like kissing your sister.” ~Bob Irwin
“Way too much coffee. But if it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.” ~David Letterman
My Daddy Will Faint
27 AugConfession: I kind of heart Hillary.
Even though, according to the ever-enlightening Rush Limbaugh, I probably only like her because I’ve had “two or three abortions” or “have been married two or three times.” Click here for his ridiculousness.
For the record, Rush, I’m zero for two in your little theory. No abortions, and so far, just the one marriage. You, however, have been married and divorced three times. Hmm? Maybe you don’t like women because they don’t like you.
At any rate, I thought Hillary’s speech last night was excellent. Kudos to her speech writer – she seemed sincere, she rallied the crowd, and she was even a little funny. She did what was best for the Democratic Party by swallowing her enormous pride, and I do like a girl who can “take one for the team.” Now, that doesn’t mean I’m voting for Obama…I am one of those annoying “undecided voters” (and a moderate, too, which is equally annoying) – so we’ll see.
Here’s Hillary’s speech in case you missed it. Don’t worry, I’ll show some love for the Republicans next week.
The Wholly City
26 AugCharleston, South Carolina, is known as the Holy City because, well, there are a ton of churches there. The skyline is filled with them, and they say there are over 400 places to worship there. It is surely deserving of this nickname, however, after going there this past weekend, I decided it should also be known as The Wholly City…since so many of us who have lived there feel whole when we go back.
There’s just something about Charleston that sucks you in and refuses to let you go. No matter where you go after you’ve lived there, no matter where life takes you, Charleston remains a part of you. I’m sure many other cities and places do this, too, but I’ve never experienced those – so I can’t speak to them. Even though I’m not originally from Charleston, when I go back to visit, I feel as if I’m going home again. It’s something my college friends experience as well, and it gives us a bond that most people don’t understand, or (gasp) make fun of. Our response is simple: jealous.
Here’s my plug for my beloved city:
If you haven’t gone there, go there. Experience the culture, the history, the beaches, the amazing restaurants, the shopping, the inability to not trip yourself on the cobblestone or brick streets, etc. You’ll fall in love with the place. If you’ve been there before, go back. There’s something to do no matter what the season.
Two Cheaters, Two Letters
22 AugDear John Edwards,
Let’s start with the good: your good looking in that old politician guy kind of way, and I like that you’re Southern and not a total redneck. Enough of that – on to the bad. You cheated on your wife. The same wife who was dying of cancer but still went out and campaigned with you (because, hey, you couldn’t let something like a dying wife stop you from your goals) all over the country. After she knew of your tawdry affair with a woman who could use some low lights and a better haircut. Then, you publicly lied about it. Now, allegedly you have a Juris Doctor from the University of North Carolina, so one would think you are more intelligent than say, me, who has a Juris Doctor in Shopping, but no…you are not. Even I know that if you are a public figure, you can not lie about anything in your personal life. Someone always finds out, and the longer you deny it, the worse you look. Have a nice day, and please stop running for office because you’re not winning.
Love,
M
Dear Chinese Gymnastics Team,
The jig is up. We know that you’re all 12. Enjoy your gold medals, though, because you were taken from your families at age 3 (and not allowed to have a life outside of gymnastics) to train for this. Our girls are 16 or older, see their families every day, go to high school or college, have friends and still got the silver medal. In. Your. Face.
Love,
M
Trampoline Jumping is Not a Sport and Other Thoughts
20 AugFirst of all, I’m obsessed with the Olympics. Like, staying up until the wee hours and missing reality television shows to see them obsessed. If I ever have one of those children people speak of, I’ll do my best to make him or her the next Michael Phelps. I’m sure they’ll rebel and play chess or something, but a girl can hope, right?
Here are my thoughts on the 2008 Olympics:
1. Chinese people can build them some venues. Hate it for you, London. Face it – you can’t top the Bird’s Nest or the Water Cube.
2. I’m a little over the word “Beijing” – do they have to say it every three seconds? (It works, however, because now it’s on my list of places to see before I die.)
3. The judges have been paid off, I’m certain of it. I’m not trying to be a Bitty Betty, but come on…the Chinese aren’t always better.
4. Interviews directly after someone runs as fast as they can for 200 meters (or any amount, really) are cruel. So is zooming in on a swimmer’s face after they break a world record.
5. Trampoline jumping is not a sport. Neither is ping pong. Hey Olympic Committee – seriously?
6. The tune that plays when they change over to a different sport makes me happy.
8. I only understand every fourth word Bella Coroli says.
9. The women’s USA volleyball team is bad ass. And their skimpy outfits are, too.
10. Those awful looking swim caps can not make you that much faster. I’d like to have a word with the person who started this trend.
11. Marathons are crazy and leave me with unanswered questions. What if they have to pee, for example. I’ll refrain from sharing the rest, but if you run marathons let me know. I’ll email you my list of queries.
12. The bronze medal needs a little jazzing up – the gold and silver get all the glory, so I say we throw a few diamonds on that sucker and breathe new life into the winning the bronze. Together we can make third place fabulous.
thetightropeblog.com 
