yay for:
love letters
a red blazer from jcrew
cute photos of my niece on facebook
crystal light strawberry lemonade
a fun night with two sweet girls, two funny dogs, and one fine husband
apples and peanut butter
weekend plans “at home” with my family
a flower delivery, just because
funny friends
having an “off” exercise day
this song
a sunny day
We’re halfway towards our goal, y’all! Allegedly in 4 more weeks, I’ll be able to run a 5k. That’s big for me, as I only run when someone is chasing me…or when my dog outsmarts me.
So, what happens when we reach our goal? We are seriously considering making our own app, called, “5k to Couch” which will include lots of lounging and alcohol.
I love awards shows. Always have, always will. I love the hype, I love the fashion, I love the speeches. I love the pomp and circumstance, and I love the tradition of it all.
My dear, sweet husband let out a fake “yay” when I excitedly announced yesterday morning that the Oscars would be on later. He’s the exact opposite of me when it comes to awards shows. I giddily perch on the couch for the Golden Globes and Grammy’s and every few minutes give my fashion and speech writer two cents. He trolls his computer and occasionally looks up when I talk about a pretty lady.
Per usual, he was not glued to the television last night when Kristen Stewart hobbled onto the stage. She was a hot mess, bless her heart. She was limping, there was a big bruise on her arm, her hair was all messed up – I’m tellin’ ya, she looked like she had just done the walk of shame home from a fraternity formal.
I’m not really a fan of Stewart’s – she’s painfully melancholy, she had an affair with someone else’s husband, and quite frankly, her acting sucks. Be that as it may, even I felt a little sorry for KStew last night, because she’s was clearly having a bad day. Apparently she had an accident and cut her foot on some glass, causing her to use crutches on the red carpet. But, since she always looks totally miserable and angry at the world, I just thought she was on some sort of drugs to get her through her sh*tty life. (I still think she was on a little somethin’-somethin’, but I digress.)
By the time Jennifer Lawrence won for Best Actress I was asleep (due to the fact that I’m old and have a job to get up for), but I did watch the recap this morning – and that fall she took – what a nightmare. Her post-win interview cracked me up, though. I love a girl with a quick wit and the ability to laugh at herself.
Ben Affleck’s speech was the perfect example of why I love awards shows. It was emotional, funny and slightly uncomfortable. I’d like to thank him (get it?) for having an honest moment on stage while thanking his wife for working on their marriage “for 10 Christmases.” Anyone who found this insulting doesn’t understand marriage. My favorite part of his speech, however, was when he said, “It doesn’t matter how you get knocked down in life, because that’s going to happen. It’s that you get back up.”
Until I write and am subsequently nominated for “Best Original Screenplay,” I guess I’ll just continue to practice my acceptance speech (using my hairbrush as the award, of course) in front of the mirror in my bathroom. When Scott isn’t home.
With my honey
Him: The scale is in a good mood today. You should try it out.
Me: That scale can go ___ itself.
Him: Yeah, last week I considered water-boarding it until it told me what I wanted to hear.
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With my BFF
Her: Good morning. Is it too early to be rude?
Me: I was JUST saying to a co-worker that I was trying to be positive until 10:00am. It’s a struggle.
Her: It IS! Especially when I look on FB and see stupid posts.
Me: Just go ahead and be ugly. I will join in. It’s who we are.
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With a few co-workers
Girl: The stomach virus combined with the Paleo Diet has made me lose a little too much weight.
Me: Yeah, skinny jeans aren’t supposed to be baggy. Eat some cake.
Male: Well, I don’t think you look too thin.
Me: Um, this from the guy who thought Angelina Jolie and her stupid leg didn’t look anorexic at the Oscars last year. Don’t trust a guy who thinks Ethiopians are fat, ok?
The offender: Adele
The item(s) in question: Dress, worn at the Grammy Awards
My thoughts: Oh, Adele. I cannot have been the first one to mention to you that (out of control) prints and your figure do not mix well. You are a beautiful lady, but whomever your stylist is is either 1) on crack or 2) missed a good opportunity to use that as their excuse, because it looks like Valentine’s Day threw up all over you. I held back my red carpet opinions while you were with child and right after your baby was born, but enough time has passed for you to get it together. Please do, because Mrs. Roper called. She wants her muumuu back.
This weekend we had “the daughters” and they both got email addresses (which we have the passwords for, of course). Email is a big thing when you first get it. Do you remember how fun it was to “check” back in the day? It’s such an everyday part of our lives now that it’s no big thing – but for our girls, they get super excited with every inbox message they receive.
As they were emailing and their dad was researching car parts (more on that later), I was (of course) on Pinterest. It was there that I saw this amazing shirt:
I showed the hubs and he immediately found this link so that we could explain the sound of dial up to the girls. We didn’t have the heart to tell ’em that when we were their age, there was no World Wide Web, and that instead of Google we had World Book Encyclopedias. That would be like the time my mom told me she saw Elvis in concert. I realized, at that moment, just how old she was.
The best thing about today is that we won’t have to hear “Every kiss begins with Kay” every 5 seconds whilst getting our television fix at night. I sincerely hope none of you received the Open Hearts Collection necklace from your significant yesterday, because, well, it’s the most hideous line of jewelry I’ve ever seen. Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman is no Harry Winston. I sure hope she goes back to the Lifetime Network sometime soon.
In other horrid gift news, the day before Valentines Day I saw a clown on the side of the road holding a sign that was advertising clown-o-grams for Vday. Clowns are the scariest thing on Earth. No one above the age of 4 likes a clown. I realize that times are tough and you gots to do what you gots to do to make some cash, but if a clown walked in my office singing or dancing to profess my husband’s love for me…one or the both of them would be gravely injured.
It seems as if the entire world is in love with Kate Middleton. And why wouldn’t we be? Every little girl dreamt of becoming a princess when they grew up…and she actually pulled it off.
For the second edition of “Love Story” – I present the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. (Also known as Prince William and Duchess Catherine…those royals have more names than P-Diddy.)
England’s most famous couple met in college at the prestigious University of St. Andrews, and after an eight-year (and on again, off again) courtship, the two married in 2011. The couple have spoken in interviews about the foundation of their relationship – their friendship. Before the two were an item, they were housemates who spent quite a lot of time together. Their favorite traits of one another? A naughty sense of humor. (Side note: I bet the Queen loathes that. She looks incredibly stuffy.)
Intensely private William and Kate rarely speak about each other in public. You can’t blame them – with the world watching, the scrutiny on their every word would simply be added stress. However, if a picture is worth a thousand words, these tell the tale of a vibrant, happy, loving couple. They way they look at each other – well, it’s evident that they are still smitten with each other – 10 years in.
Sigh. A fairy tale come true, indeed.
Even though I became unusually domestic this weekend and did things like clean the house and make low-country boil, chicken pie and peanut butter cookies, this typically fits me:
For real. Who needs this kind of judgment?
How we all feel some Mondays:
Facebook has become part of our everyday vocabulary, and most days, I’m glad. It helps us reconnect with old friends and family members, it allows me to see up-to-the-minute photos of my precious niece, and a hilarious status every now and again. But days like today, I loathe that we have the ability to read every little thing that our “friends” post. Sometimes, it shows you who they really are – and that’s not always a pretty sight.
There are many things I tolerate on Facebook, you know, because you have to take the good with the bad. Someone referencing their kid’s boogers and/or poop, a status that rants about the President – or one’s ex, or how much someone hates their job, for example.
I draw the line, however, at people who talk negatively about police officers. It’s simple really – I’m married to a law enforcement officer, and am therefore a tad sensitive to people bashing those who protect people like you and me every day. My husband is head of the SWAT team. He hunts down the worst of the worst criminals and brings them to justice. He risks his own life to protect innocent people every day. A few of my former Facebook friends might not respect that, but I damn sure do.
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